Not only does the number of letters for the LGBT group continue to grow, so does what the Pride flag includes continue to expand. And this is worsening the already bad in-group fighting.
I think LGB issues and transsexual issues shouldn’t intertwine, should have never been branded together. The fight for marriage equality is not the same thing as becoming a member of the opposite sex. Transsexuals want to blend in and live as members of the opposite sex (I can’t and won’t fight for transgenders here); LGBs just want their relationships legally recognized by the government, so they can have the same rights as straight couples. Drag and cross-dressing are not the same thing as sex changes; the sex you lives as differs from the sex you’re attracted to—so why are the two groups still lumped together?
I also argue that being transsexual is different from being transgender and non-binary. Transsexuals work their asses off to have their identities validated legally and socially; we go through hell to “heal” our bodies, change our names legally, update our gender markers, resocialize to assimilate with other men and women. Transgenders and enbies usually don’t want to a sex change, don’t want to pay to change their names and correct their legal documents, insist on living in a third-gender deviance while demanding the hle world cater to their small numbers; so why they should have the same benefits I worked for? A “fight” I won’t advocate for.
I don’t know or care if there is any difference between being bi, poly, pan beyond semantics; as I’m straight, that is not another fight I want to get into.
“Genital preference” is not transphobic, because most lesbians know they prefer vaginas over dicks, and gay men want dick. I am willing to accept that there will be women who won’t date me for my vagina, as much as I don’t want to date a “pre-op” trans woman who still has her dick, or especially if “she” insists on keeping her dick.
Photo: Intersex Equality Rights UK via LGBTQNation.
While many intersex individuals may identify as members of the LGBT community, most do not. Many within the intersex community also hate the transgenders’ appropriation of acronyms like AFAB (“assigned female at birth”) and AMAB (“assigned male at birth”)—transgenders can argue over those terms all they want, but transsexuals are either FtM or MtF—no need to steal these acronyms, and we are changing our sexes to assimilate, not to live in a social, third-gender deviance.
I am not intersex, so I can’t speak for the community. However, I don’t like how many transgenders also now say being trans is a form of being intersex. The argument using the brain theory, a “woman’s brain inside a man’s body” narrative, perhaps the most extreme version of being intersex, is perhaps cultural appropriation at its worst.
As with all the groups within our community who want all kinds of flags? Are so many people within the LGBT community so fragile that they need something ”unique” to identify each and every little thing about them? Those of us who number more (the LGB for sure) can easily argue away that those within the community whose numbers are nowhere as big should “stop arguing semantics” and “concentrate on more important things”, like our continued fight to make sure the rights we have won in recent years remain, to stop underhanded tactics to cover up continued discrimination against our community. But I can also understand for those smaller groups, they need representation to show the diversity even within the larger subgroups, but I agree that all the infighting to get this flag or that flag shown just takes energy away from bigger issues.
Which reminds me—sex-negative asexuals need to realize LGBs need their safe spaces, parades, and events to freely express their sexuality, because they’re the ones who are persecuted, not asexuals. Sure, you’re still getting teased, but you’re not outright being denied your rights because you lack a libido! You choose to see your lack of sexuality as a form of an “orientation”, but that doesn’t mean you can go to their safe spaces and decree that the expression of sexuality should stop; LGB safe spaces were created by them for them!
LGBT. LGBTQ. LGBTQIA. The additional (+) and asterisk (*) signs, should it be added or not? How many letters must we add to the ever growing “alphabet soup”? Should we use alternative terms and acronyms to be more inclusive? Or should we just generally call ourselves “queer”? (Here’s one I came across a long time, and you can actually pronounce it like a word: QUILTBAG.) Fuck no. If anything, again, LGB and trans issues are separate, and it’s time for the two to go their own separate ways. Keep the acronym short. Remind these kids today to stop mixing sexuality with presentation with “identity”, and coming up with all these new terms.
Kink is often shown and represented at Pride. My feelings? I have my fetishes and kinks, but those are choices, not necessarily integral aspects to who I am or who I’m attracted to. Better kept to the bedroom. There is overlap between the two, and there is a great live-and-let-live attitude, but I don’t consider it “essential” to have kink displayed at every Pride event.
“Demisexuals” are just people who are just really picky about who they are or want to be attracted to, so much that they now want a name for themselves and think it’s cute to join a minority to look woke, without having to suffer the hell we have to incur because of our sexualities and sex changes. (Along with this whole “-sexual” vs “-philia” argument … why is this a thing now??)
Meanwhile, people who claim they’re into “polyamory” want to have all kinds of sex without the commitment and responsibility of relationships; we used to call that “friends with benefits”, if not “sleeping around”—”players”, “whores”, “sluts” in other words.
If you’re attracted to more than one gender (bi, pan, poly, omni, etc) but otherwise in a relationship with someone born of a different gender from you, you’re still included at Pride events. Just don’t try to argue what the difference between “bi” and “pan” is; bisexuality was originally meant to mean attracted to more than one sex; “pans” need to stop rewriting that definition to mean “attracted to two sexes” just to suit their agendas and narcissism, because you enforce the notion that you don’t see transsexuals as members of the opposite sex, and otherwise are tranny chasers.
If you claim to be “ex-gay” or “ex-trans”, go on and live your life however you want. Just don’t tell those of us who choose to accept our sexualities and sex changes, rather than “convert”/”revert” them, that we shouldn’t be allowed the same rights as our straight siblings.
As a lingual descriptivist, I think language and labels matter—to a point. If we have a word to describe ourselves, it validates our existence—but come up with a word for every little subset or variance would distract our communities from more important topics as conservatives still try to label LGBs as “homosexual”, they try to reduce LGBs to their sex acts; and by calling transsexuals “mentally ill transvestites”, they see us only as cross-dressers. Trying to reduce us to “social deviants” who don’t deserve bodily autonomy and loving relationships.
I had a hard early adulthood that has left me behind others around my age from achieving certain milestones. I’m making up sorely for lost time, wisdom, and experience. The last thing I need to do is get involved with pedantry and trivialities.
