People are rushing to get married, names changed, sex changes finalized. With Barrett on the Supreme Court bench now…regardless if Biden wins, or Trump gets re-elected, LGBTQ+ rights are at risk.

I started my journey in 2014, and finished up in 2017. I legally changed my name twice, my final name change just months ago.

I knew with Trump potentially winning it would be a good idea to get my sex change wrapped up ASAP so in case anything queerphobic was passed, I’d be protected. Why? The Constitution here and here state that laws (whether at state or federal level) can’t undo previously done actions, in my case meaning Trump’s army can’t force me to undo my sex change. They could prohibit sex changes from happening down the line, but for people like me, people who’ve had everything done, we (theoretically—but we know how theory don’t always work in reality!) have little to nothing to worry about. Given their hypocrisy over replacing Ginsberg rather than wait till the next President elect takes office, I wouldn’t doubt they’d come after post-ops like me at some point—but by then, I will have lived long enough as a man that my history legally and socially as a woman won’t show up on their records.

I know I’m saying this from a place of “privilege”—I’m white, male, straight (attracted to women), from a Christian background (albeit now irreligious), from a Republican-voting family in a small-town and conservative area (though I vote Democrat), have a supportive family and workplace, and live in a state that protects against discrimination for the LGBTQ community, and was lucky to enough to legally change my name and sex change and have all my legal documents reflect that.

I get it, too—I’ve had otherwise potentially transphobic people befriend me or open up their minds because I’m “binary”, because I had a sex change, because I pass, because I don’t ask for ”exemptions like a snowflake”. Because I choose to not let the micro-aggressions of “deadnaming”, misgendering, questions about my medical history get in the way of having open, honest conversations with people; there are times where it’s important to correct others, but in these kinds of conservations, my aim to build alliances, not win a debate, and I (try to) let this stuff slide.

I know with my “privileges”, that if and when I find a girlfriend and we decide to marry, we can easily go anywhere and get married, and because we’d be “straight-acting” and cis-passing, we wouldn’t have to worry about people refusing us service if they’re against queer marriage.

I do not want to regress to a state where my friends’ rights are determined on a state-by-state basis, or even at a county-by-county/town-by-town level. I do not want their taxes, Social Security, and other welfare situations to be complicated for them, where they claim each other on some things, but not others. I do not want my transsexual brothers and sisters to constantly worry about where it’s okay to use the loo when out-and-about, or those in same-sex relationships to have to choose between marrying first before transitioning, or transitioning but then allow for misgendering while going through getting legally married. (The wedding can always be put off and everyone can be out in the open at that point.) I don’t want anyone to feel like if they had to go to hospital for an emergency that they’d be turned away because a doctor thinks his religious convictions are more important than our right to healthcare. I do not want my LGB siblings to feel like they have to choose between constantly fighting for their rights where they live, or choosing to pack up an leave for a queer-friendly state where their rights are at least guaranteed at the state level.

There will be days you’ll want to give up. Days you want to retreat. Days that you’d want it to all be over. Take time off from everything from time to time if the stress burns you out. If fighting becomes too much, really it might just be better to pack up and move to an area where your rights will still be protected at the state level.

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